Relationship Money problems

Differing attitudes towards money can create problems within a relationship. Whether a couple have only just met or they have been together for many years these differences can start to create a rift if they are not dealt with. When problems start to develop there are usually warning signs to look out for such as:

An inability to discuss problems. If partners are unwilling or unable to discuss their money worries it can be very difficult to even think about a solution. Conflict can arise if you have not agreed on a mutually acceptable budget. Without a defined budget arguments can develop when it comes to spending and saving.

Money issues may be indicative of deeper problems within the relationship. One partner may have a controlling nature and a strong desire to keep a tight hold on the finances; while the other may be more relaxed or even irresponsible when it comes to money.

Discovering the Root Causes and Finding Solutions

In order to find a resolution you will first need to look at your money problems and their causes. You will see listed below some statements regarding money. When you have read the list and decided on which parts you agree or disagree with, then give it to your partner to do the same. If your partner is not willing to participate you will need to look at the statements from their point of view and decide which of the statements match closest with their attitudes.

• One person should save at least 10% of their income every month
• Life’s for living so you should be able to enjoy what you earn
• Each person should have their own bank account
• Couples should have an agreed monthly budget
• One person should pay off their entire credit card balance each month
• My partner and I should contribute 50:50 to the household expenses
• I earn more so I should be able to spend more than my partner
• The money should be divided equally, regardless of who earned it
• We should invest in property rather than holidays and having fun
• In the event of a break up the person who contributed more should be able to walk away with more of the possessions
• I am not always truthful about my spending
• I think my partner has a tendency to waste money
• My partner is overcautious when it comes to spending, and sometimes it can be embarrassing
• I hate discussing money issues with my partner because we usually end up arguing
• Finance is too complicated so I don’t worry about the details

Once you have read through all the statements you can start to see where the differences lie. You may find it helpful to discuss your differing attitudes to money with your partner.

These issues can be resolved if you and are your partner are willing to reach an agreement.

Pick out the statements which you and your partner both agree with. List the areas which are most important to both of you for the continuing success of your relationship.

Look at your areas of disagreement. Discuss them honestly and decide which one are causing the most conflict in the relationship, and which ones you can safely ignore.

If you cannot resolve important areas of disagreement you will need to reach a compromise until reading the list again in a month’s time.

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