Relationship Work problems
Differences in attitudes to work can sometimes cause a rift to develop in a relationship. The same is true whether the different attitudes existed from the start of the relationship or they developed at a later stage. Sometimes a change in circumstances can trigger the onset of problems.
Whatever your circumstances at the beginning of the relationship sooner or later something will change; and this is particularly so in the case of employment and job security. Even the most stable relationship can start to struggle if one party becomes ill and unable to work, becomes pregnant, or is made redundant. By having contingency plans in place you will find it a lot easier to deal with these issues when they arise.
Problems can also occur when people have different levels of ambition. You may be striving to reach the top of the career ladder while your partner prefers familiarity and has no desire to progress. You may be working hard in order to get on while your partner seems to prefer spending everything they earn.
If these differences in attitude are causing you concern you need to think about what it is that is troubling you. Is it really vital that your partner shares the same level of ambition as you? Will the relationship suffer if you are not both striving towards the same goals? Has your partner’s attitude changed or was their relaxed attitude to work something you found attractive when you met?
There may be an imbalance in the hours you work. Maybe in your drive to succeed you have found yourself working up to 80 hours a week and your partner is content to do the normal 35 hours a week and take weekends off. Is your desire to succeed forcing you to work longer hours than you’d really like? Would you like to reduce your hours but you cannot see a way of doing it? When it comes to making these decisions you really need to discuss them with your partner.
It is possible that you admire your partner’s relaxed attitude to work and you would like to be able to emulate it. Maybe your partner secretly admires your strong minded ambition but finds it difficult to change their way of thinking. Your partner may even have held the same kinds of ambition as you in the past but a stressful working environment made it impossible to carry on. You might feel you cannot continue to drive yourself so hard. Your partner may be able to help you take a step back and look at what you really want out of life.
Being the main breadwinner in the household can also put you under a great deal of pressure. You may want your partner to share more of the responsibilities, in which case you really need to discuss the issue before taking drastic action.
If you feel your current role is not giving you the job satisfaction you desire you need to take action now; and one way of doing this is by drawing up an action plan.
1. Think carefully about the kind of work you would like to be doing. Make a list of all the possible roles or sectors you would like to move into, together with any advantages and benefits you can think of. Ask yourself why these jobs look attractive. Are they offering better salaries and chances of progression? Or are they better suited to your lifestyle and offer more job satisfaction?
2. Make a list of your personal strengths and weaknesses, and match them to a list of possible future roles. At this stage you can afford to be creative so try not to rule anything out.
3. Think about any skills and experience which you will be able to bring to a new role. Do your attributes match those which are needed in your future career? If you have a strong desire to move into a new area but do not have the relevant experience then you may want to consider training. By developing additional skills you will have the flexibility you need to move into new areas of work.
4. Once you are satisfied that you are ready to move on you can start sending out job applications. If you are trying to get into a sector which is particularly difficult for newcomers to join you may want to consider doing some voluntary work. Employers will be very impressed with your self-motivation and desire to learn. You will also benefit from increased confidence when you start going for job interv
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